Daily Prayer: Learning to Actually Like People (Including the Ones Who Are Hard to Like)
Daily Prayer: Learning to Actually Like People (Including the Ones Who Are Hard to Like)
"Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble."
— 1 Peter 3:8
Here's the thing about Sunday afternoons in July — they have this particular energy that is equal parts restful and mildly overwhelming. The week is technically over, but you can already feel Monday gathering itself just beyond the horizon like an uninvited houseguest who always shows up a little too early.
And somehow, in that particular stretch of afternoon, you end up thinking about people. All the people. The ones you love easily. The ones you love with effort. The ones you're still working up to.
Peter Said "Finally" For a Reason
I always notice that word at the beginning of this verse. Finally.
It's such a human word. Like Peter was wrapping up a long conversation and wanted to land the plane. "Okay, I've said a lot of things. Here's the bottom line."
Be like-minded. Sympathetic. Love each other. Compassionate. Humble.
Five things. Simple enough to memorize. Difficult enough to actually do on a Tuesday when someone at work sends that email — you know the one — and your adult kid texts something that makes your eye twitch just slightly, and your husband forgets the one thing you asked him to remember, and you're supposed to be compassionate and humble about all of it.
Right. Sure. Let me get right on that.
The Gap Between Knowing and Doing
I genuinely believe this verse. I believe in kindness. I believe in unity. I will defend compassion in a conversation with anyone.
And then real life shows up and I realize how much of my "compassion" is conditional on people behaving in ways I find reasonable.
That's not really compassion. That's just... agreement with a warm face.
True sympathy — the kind Peter is talking about — means stepping into someone else's experience even when it doesn't make sense to you. Even when you'd have handled it differently. Even when you're pretty sure you're right and they're making it harder than it needs to be.
As a mom with an adult child, I am currently getting a master's degree in this exact subject.
Loving Grown-Up Kids Is Its Own Kind of Humbling
Nobody warned me that parenting an adult would require more humility than parenting a toddler. At least with a toddler, you're clearly the one in charge. You can redirect. You can distract with a snack.
With an adult child, you are now just two people who love each other and occasionally drive each other absolutely crazy, and neither one of you can be sent to a time-out corner.
Peter's list hits different when I read it through that lens. Be sympathetic. Okay — can I see her perspective even when I don't share it? Be humble. Can I admit that maybe I don't have all the answers about her life? Be like-minded. Can we find the ground we share instead of camping on the ground we don't?
Some days, yes. Some days, I need to pray first and try again after.
This Is Not a Natural State for Most of Us
I want to be honest here: none of this comes naturally to me. I'm an introvert who processes internally, which means I can have an entire argument with someone in my head, resolve it, and walk away feeling like we've worked through something — when the other person has no idea any of it happened.
That's a problem, obviously.
Real compassion requires showing up in the actual conversation, not just the imaginary one where I make all the best points. Real humility means letting someone else be right sometimes without needing to announce that I've decided to let them be right.
This verse isn't asking us to feel a certain way and wait for it to be convenient. It's a series of small, deliberate choices made over and over across an ordinary week — at the dinner table, in the work Slack channel, in the car, in the text thread that's been a little tense lately.
The Beauty in the "All of You"
What I keep coming back to is that Peter addressed this to everyone. All of you. Not just the people who are easy to get along with. Not just the ones who are already trying. Everyone in the room — including the difficult ones, and including you when you're the difficult one.
That's oddly comforting.
It means I'm not the only one being asked to stretch. It means the person who frustrates me is also, somewhere in their own life, being called toward sympathy and humility too. We're all in the same classroom, just on different days of the lesson.
That makes me softer toward people, honestly. Even the ones who seem very far from this verse on any given day. Because I know how far I can be from it too.
A Small, Honest Prayer
God, okay. It's Sunday afternoon and I'm trying to get my heart ready for the week ahead.
You know the people on my list — the ones who are easy to love and the ones who cost me something. Help me not keep such careful score of which is which.
I want to be sympathetic without it being a performance. I want to be humble without it being self-punishment. I want to actually love people — the inconvenient, complicated, doesn't-make-sense-to-me versions of them — the way You love the inconvenient, complicated version of me.
Give me the patience for the conversations I'm avoiding. Give me the words for the ones I need to have. And when I would rather be right than be kind, remind me which one actually matters more.
I need help with this. Most days, I need a lot of help with this.
But I'm showing up and asking, and I trust that counts for something.
Amen.
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