In the Middle of Everything: Caring for Parents While Parenting a College Kid

Photo by Ronald Vargas (@ronaldvargaz)

Okay, deep breath. It's May. The magnolias in my neighborhood are just starting to really bloom, painting the street in soft pinks and whites. Part of me wants to just sit and stare at them all day, soaking in the quiet beauty. Another part is mentally juggling college tuition statements, doctor's appointments for Mom, and a text from my daughter asking if I can Venmo her for "emergency coffee supplies" (a.k.a. her lifeblood for finals week).

This "sandwich generation" thing? It’s less like a cozy lunch and more like a high-wire act where the wind keeps picking up. One minute I'm on the phone trying to understand Medicare changes for my parents, the next I'm listening to my independent, almost-grown daughter navigate a challenging roommate situation or a tricky class project. My heart is in two places, and honestly, my brain often feels like a browser with far too many tabs open at once.

There's this bittersweet, beautiful dance happening. Watching your child step further into her own life, making her own choices (some brilliant, some… well, "learning experiences"), fills you with pride and a quiet ache. You want to cheer her on from the sidelines, offer advice, but also know when to step back and let her soar (or stumble and pick herself up). It's a delicate balance, learning to be a soft place to land without always being the safety net.

Then there are our parents. The ones who once carried us, literally and figuratively. Now, it's our turn to carry them, sometimes quite literally. It's a privilege, an honor, and sometimes, utterly exhausting. The calls about things breaking, the appointments, the subtle shifts in their independence—it's a constant recalibration of roles. And you just want to do right by them, by everyone. You want to give them the same love and care they gave you, even when your reserves feel low.

I find myself seeking out the quiet moments more and more. Early mornings with my coffee, before the house fully wakes up. A quick prayer for strength, for wisdom, for patience when I feel like I'm running on fumes. Maybe it's just a moment to stare at those blooming magnolias and remember that growth and beauty can still happen amidst the chaos. It’s a quiet faith, a sturdy anchor when the waves feel big and the demands feel endless.

It’s not always pretty, this life in the middle. Sometimes I snap. Sometimes I just want to hide in a closet with a book and pretend the world doesn’t exist for an hour. But then I remember the love, the connection, the sheer privilege of being needed by these people I adore. And I take another breath, ready to face the next thing, whatever it may be. Because even in the middle of everything, there’s so much to hold onto.

If you're also living in the middle of everything, juggling more balls than you thought possible, know you're not alone. We're all trying to figure this out, one day, one email, one phone call at a time. How do you navigate these beautiful, messy waters?

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