Date Nights, Deadlines, and Dishes: How We Keep Choosing Each Other
Photo by Michael C on Unsplash
It's May, and the days are stretching longer, bright and full of a buzzing energy. You'd think with more daylight, there'd be more time, right? Ha. Instead, it feels like the spring growth isn't just happening in the garden, but in my to-do list, too. Between work projects that never seem to end and trying to keep up with my daughter's young adult adventures (mostly listening and offering quiet support, which is its own kind of work), sometimes I look at my husband across the perpetually messy kitchen island and wonder, "Are we still in this together, or are we just two ships passing in the night, exchanging notes about who last emptied the dishwasher?"
Truth be told, it's a little bit of both, sometimes. And if you're a working mom, navigating a full life, I bet you know exactly what I mean. We've got date nights we try to plan, deadlines looming like dark clouds over our calendars, and, of course, the eternal Everest of dishes. How do we, meaning my husband and I, keep finding our way back to each other amidst all this beautiful, chaotic reality?
It's messy, honestly. We aren't doing grand romantic gestures every week. Sometimes, a "date night" is us finally collapsing on the couch after our daughter’s called it a night, sharing a bag of chips and watching something utterly ridiculous, just to laugh until our sides hurt. Or it’s me handing him a mug of tea when he’s deep into a late-night work project, not saying much, but just being there. And him, knowing I need quiet after a busy day, will sometimes just start clearing the dinner table without a word, giving me space to just... be.
It's in those small, quiet moments that we choose each other. It’s in remembering that we’re on the same team, that God put us together for a reason, and that this partnership is a sacred thing worth fighting for, even when the fight is against fatigue or the sheer volume of laundry. My faith reminds me that love isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action, a daily decision. And sometimes, that action is simply saying, "I see you. I appreciate you. Let's tackle this mountain range of receipts together."
There are days when I'm definitely not my best self – I’m introverted, so too much external stimulation makes me retreat into my own head, and my witty remarks can sometimes turn into sarcastic mumbled complaints. But he gets it. He gives me space and grace, and I try my best to return the favor. We’ve learned to read the unspoken cues, to know when one of us is running on fumes and needs a gentle hand, or just permission to opt out of an expectation.
So, yeah, date nights are important, and we try. Deadlines are inevitable, and we help each other through. And dishes? Well, they’ll always be there. But through it all, we keep choosing each other, one imperfect, everyday decision at a time. It's not glamorous, but it's real, and it’s ours.
How do you and your partner keep finding your way back to each other amidst the daily grind? I'd love to hear your wisdom or your messy, beautiful stories in the comments.
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